Demystifying the Self-Help Industry
HOST
All right, so let's start by demystifying some of the context just locally, right? So if we examine the application of Twitter and how it all works, and if you start looking at Twitter from this lens, it'll change the way that you experience. The Twitter experience is very interesting, and it'll make a subtle change in the way you view it perennially. If you look at it from this perspective, like, my Twitter is a diary, right?
Like I am articulating and building my own comprehensive, coherent philosophy. And when you read anybody's page, I think it's a huge mistake to look at it as some kind of prescription. Like, I'm not ushering anybody to do jack shit on my page.
CALLER 1
Like I am.
HOST
I am tweeting for myself. And if anybody can pick up some shrapnel or a shred of experience, strength
CALLER 1
and hope from things that I have
HOST
personally overcome, that's great. But that's just a byproduct of me articulating my thoughts, things that have worked for me. So in no way, shape, or form
CALLER 1
am I ever tweeting.
HOST
Even when you. Even when we use hyperboles like you or we call people out specifically, I. It's still for myself. And if you start looking at everybody's page as just them kind of cataloging and chronologizing their own thoughts, it changes the way that you view the app for the rest of your life.
Because none of it's prescription, right? I don't expect everybody to be a hardcore highfalutin gambler. Like I am just sharing. That's worked for me.
So that's number one. That'll demystify the guru syndrome right off the bat. Number two, a hundred thousand self help books are published a year, new ones, and are more lost, hopeless, disparaged, discouraged, morose, languid, depressed than they've ever been before. And I think there's a glaringly obvious fallacy here that nobody seems to want
CALLER 1
to address, and I'm going to address
HOST
it right now, which is the idea that if you just work hard enough under every circumstance, in every scenario, that you too can become a smashing, roaring success, which is just clearly not the case. It is a mathematical likelihood. It is a mathematical fact that the majority, the vast majority of people on this planet will be ordinary. Will be ordinary.
Not everybody is going to bootstrap themselves to the highest levels and firmaments of success. And I think understanding that thesis right off the bat should provide some level of relief and alleviation, because I believe everybody should maximize whatever role and capacity
CALLER 1
that they have, like you have to decipher your own significance.
HOST
And there's a quote. So I'll start by saying this. So the self help industry basically has a bunch of people under the ruse and bamboozled into thinking that if you haven't climbed Mount Everest with just a gym towel, or you haven't sold the
CALLER 1
tech company by age 9, or you
HOST
haven't found an herbal cure for herpes, that you're a failure, that you're a loser. And what they're doing is they're just selling you hope. They're selling you the hope that if
CALLER 1
you just put in enough effort and
HOST
you keep busting your ass, that eventually
CALLER 1
you're gonna have this massive breakthrough and windfall of spirituality, of resources, of self actualization, of enlightenment.
HOST
It's all a sham, clearly. Because if that was true and success was purely effort based, we'd have a lot more retired self made millionaires at 30 than we do waitresses, bartenders and, and janitors. And it's just glaringly obvious when you look at the culture, that's just not happening. It's just not happening for a lot of people.
A lot of people are grinding their gears, perusing the bookshelves for the next answer in these books. And after a while, because I have a very unique purview into this because I get, I get, I interact with a lot of people. So I have a very unique insight into the culture because I'm communicating with young all day in my DMs. The people who, who read my work are all youngsters coming up.
So I have a very unique perspective as to what they're dealing with. And one of the things that I see is that the self help trap is a very masochistic, self torturous way of approaching things. It's just, you're just moving from book to book to book to book to book.
CALLER 1
And each time you're more and more
HOST
hopeless, more and more perilous. You're in a fathomless, bottomless pit of despair and you can't understand why.
CALLER 1
And it's, I'll tell you why.
HOST
It's because of the ability fallacy. Because of the ability. And what I mean by that is that essentially there was a quote by Einstein that I love which is very apropos.
CALLER 1
And it's.
HOST
He said, if you judge a fish by how well it climbs a tree, it will live its whole life believing it's stupid. I'm going to say that again. If you judge a fish by how well it climbs a tree it will live its whole life believing it's stupid. It's a great quote because it's very obvious that greatness is not really self anointed.
Like there is a stochastic random element of chance to success that nobody wants to address because it flies in the
CALLER 1
face of anything is possible under every circumstance at any given time for everybody.
HOST
Which is clearly a lie. It's like, and here's what's interesting, like you can, you can easily, easily shred that argument to pieces when you look at it because people understand it from a physical perspective, but that for some reason with the cognitive perspective, they don't understand it. It's like a guy like Einstein was
CALLER 1
just compelled to do whatever work he
HOST
was doing the didn't need to read. There's no self help book on how
CALLER 1
to become an Einstein.
HOST
There's no self help book on how
CALLER 1
to become a Michael Jordan.
HOST
There's no self help book on how
CALLER 1
to become a Michael Phelps.
HOST
Because people understand intuitively that there's a
CALLER 1
lot more going on there behind the scenes.
HOST
Yet every tech CEO and titan of industry and trailblazer somehow thinks that there's
CALLER 1
some formulaic, generic, step by step blueprint to becoming a multimillionaire.
HOST
No. Now when you, when you look at a guy like Usain Bolt, you realize how absurd it would be to compare yourself to him and say, well, I'm never going to be as fast as Usain Bolt. That's like a glaringly obvious answer, right?
CALLER 1
Like, or Michael Phelps, like, I'm never
HOST
going to slice through the water like Michael Phelps does. But nobody beats themselves up for that perceived athletic disparity. But then when it comes to cognitive ability, everyone's comparing themselves to everybody else, which is bizarre because clearly there's some physical prowess there that you will never be able to mimic. I mean that, that Michael Phelps, he's got the torso of an eel and he's got other genetic gifts that are just not replicable.
But somehow everybody, when it comes to the cognitive, because it's more abstract, you're like, you're beating yourself up to shreds that you don't have the monk discipline of Elon Musk or the Jedi equanimity, equanimity of Eckhart Tolle. And it's like, dude, cognitive abilities are extremely disparate. Like, like there's just, people just have gifts and some people just don't have it. And so trying to map and mirror a generic blueprint to success based on somebody else who's nothing like you, you Guys are not even remotely in the realm of similarity.
And you're trying to take a model and you're trying to disabuse yourself of
CALLER 1
your natural state and you're trying to
HOST
replicate somebody else's recipe. Of course you're going to be blown to smithereens. And of course it's going to lead
CALLER 1
to more despair and low self esteem. It's just obvious.
HOST
It goes back to the quote, I mean, you got fish trying to climb trees and then you're, and then you're thinking you're stupid, but it's just because you're not in your own lane. It's because you're not in your own lane. And then what this leads to is it leads to a very strange portal
CALLER 1
into very other bizarre ways of trying to gain self esteem and confidence.
HOST
Like affirmations, which self help industry is hugely propped up on. And when you look at like affirmation, like you take an unconfident guy and you start telling this dude to tell himself he's worth it, he's lovable, all these gay little sayings in the mirror, that's just gonna further entrench and magnify the negative belief system. Because you can't reverse the natural process of building confidence. Like that's what an affirmation is.
You're trying to reverse the natural process of how building confidence is actually done, which is an inside job. It's an inside out type thing.
CALLER 1
You have to drill outward from within
HOST
and that's like an outward way of doing it. Inwardly, it's a very inverted way of trying to build self esteem. And it leads dudes to even further confidence issues. You're just reinforcing negative beliefs because you're not ready to believe that those affirmations are true.
So it just, it just becomes this endless cycle of insanity.
CALLER 1
And
HOST
I mean, I wrote some on this that I'm gonna read to you because I think it's hilarious. You so, so like you can't, here's the most destructive thing that I've seen and I think this is profound. It's the idea that people are comparing themselves to their potential. Like you're, you're, you're basically comparing yourself to what you think you could be, which is the recipe for disaster.
Because if you accept the fact that you're on this earth to maximize whatever role you're in, like there are natural
CALLER 1
winners and natural losers.
HOST
And it's so hard for people to
CALLER 1
accept this, but it's true.
HOST
And if you're someone who just can't
CALLER 1
get your life together, then you have to maximize that.
HOST
You have to be the best at
CALLER 1
not getting your life together, if that makes sense.
HOST
Because trying to.
CALLER 1
Not everybody's going to be a smashing success.
HOST
I can't emphasize this enough, and I feel like this should bring people great peace instead of, Instead of angering them or instead of making them upset or salty. I feel like this, understanding this and accepting it for what it truly is. Is removing a lot of pain because the reality is good is no longer the standard. Like, everybody thinks they have to just be great or the best.
But being good will provide you a pretty solid life. Like, you can have a pretty outstanding lifestyle, be in good standing in your community, have a good family, make a good living, and just be. And just be good at what you're doing. But I think everybody's afraid to just even be good.
Everyone's kind of comparing themselves to this very unrealistic, bizarre standard of kind of impossibility. No, no, no. I don't think it's. It's true whatsoever that anything is possible.
I think that thinking has absolutely thrashed and eviscerated more men than it.
CALLER 1
Than it saved.
HOST
It's a lie telling somebody, oh, well, if you believe you can do that, anything is possible. Come on, man, let's get real. We know how that ends for most people.
CALLER 1
It's just not true.
HOST
And so I think that it's very
CALLER 1
important to find your own rhythm in your own art, in your own capacity. And we have to start kind of
HOST
breaking down these power blocks of these. I mean, like, you guys literally think
CALLER 1
if you're not swan diving off of yachts in Saint Tropez with Kim Kardashian as an onlooker, that you're just not even a player in the game, you know, which is bizarre.
HOST
And I think that the self imaging thing is important because, like, when it comes to famous people and worshiping that culture, I've never, ever, ever been excited
CALLER 1
or like, if I've ever bumped into a famous person.
HOST
I grew up in Beverly Hills, so I was.
CALLER 1
I've definitely seen like, pretty much every
HOST
movie star, but when I would see them in person, I've never been flabbergasted or, like, genuflected or been a sycophant. Like, I. I can definitely stand as
CALLER 1
a bystander and appreciate someone's praise and accolades. I can.
HOST
I can look at a billionaire like Jeff Bezos and certainly admire the work he's done, but I view myself as
CALLER 1
a player in the game as well.
HOST
Like I'm, I'm also a player. I'm, I'm here to do whatever work
CALLER 1
I'm supposed to do.
HOST
So I just, I can't understand or fathom how you can put a celebrity figure above yourself. Which is what, which is what the
CALLER 1
self help thing really is, is you're worshiping an author whose life experiences are completely different from your own.
HOST
And you don't see yourself as a
CALLER 1
player or an actor in your own capacity.
HOST
So then there's just a failure to execute all across the board. And now you're just not going to do anything because you have to, you, you feel like you have to be the best, you have to be the
CALLER 1
best at your craft before you even start. How the does that work?
HOST
Like, how do you think you're gonna pull that off? Very bizarre inversion. Let's open this up for some questions. Annika, what's up?
CALLER 11
Hi everybody. Yeah, I totally agree that we don't have any control over our lives anymore because we are so distracted by everything that sometimes we just need someone to tell us, you know what, you can do it. And that's where the books come in. These health books have been so like famous, like popular nowadays.
And I love these books because sometimes I lose myself and I don't have an older sister. I don't have someone that can tell me like, you know what, you need to get back on your feet. And these books, they remind me of that. And also I totally agree with the celebrity culture.
I think that's where we kind of lose ourselves even more. We see one type of success in front of us all the time on the media. And so some people, for them just being a mother is a success. And I feel like those type of slow living is not popular.
You don't really see slow living in our society. You see fast paced living. What? How can you get more famous, more rich?
And it's never someone who's settled and who's comfortable. It's always have to do more and more. I don't know. That's just what I want to say.
HOST
Yeah, I appreciate it. Who else do we got? Step up, don't be shy. Here we go.
Being gets talked to us.
CALLER 1
DM me.
HOST
I'll send you to a brothel to
CALLER 1
blow off some of that steam.
HOST
Colonel.
CALLER 1
What's going on, brood? Big fan here. Is there anything you would suggest supplementing
CALLER 4
with the self help books?
HOST
Dude, I don't think, I don't think see every successful person that I've ever met, I don't think they ever read self help books. I think they read specific, I think
CALLER 1
they've read specific books in their industry.
HOST
So I think that's kind of more
CALLER 1
of where I'm trying to push people is I understand if you're a finance guy reading finance books, that makes sense to me.
HOST
But I don't think this all encompassing,
CALLER 1
one size fits all prescription is helpful
HOST
at all, if anything, because I've read all these books, I've literally read every self help book in the game. And the only conclusion that I drew at the end was that success formulas are not generalized. Like, and honestly, like it always leads
CALLER 1
you to the end conclusion that at some point you have to write your own book.
HOST
I mean literally, like at the end
CALLER 1
of browsing every self help book, the only conclusion I came to was, all right, now it's time to write my own.
HOST
And here I am writing my own.
CALLER 1
So.
HOST
We got
CALLER 1
Philosoptor.
CALLER 8
Hey, what's up? Can you hear me? Oh yeah, yeah. All I wanted to say on this topic because I came in a little late.
You can all like, they, there will never be a shortage of people that will take your money to be your mommy and daddy, period. They'll charge you $600 a month, they'll charge you for their book, they'll charge you for their anything at all to be your mommy and daddy. So once you connect to the fact that like you're responsible for yourself, your mommy and daddy are people that one time, like you're really free, you know, to like. I mean I have like a lot of.
I'm looking at my library right now. I've got like kind of a diverse collection here. You can get perspective on how other people think. Like the 48 laws of power was very helpful for me to understand how, how people think that are nothing like me.
But at the end of the day, like don't give people money to like cultivate discipline for you because ultimately it's getting in the way of you cultivating discipline.
HOST
Exactly, exactly. That's why I said the other day that discipline is for slaves. Because what I was really saying is
CALLER 1
discipline often requires a lot of mental Olympics and gymnastics to pull it off.
HOST
And so essentially, essentially what you're doing
CALLER 1
is you're creating a false idol in order to compel yourself to work, whereas
HOST
these other are just compelled by a
CALLER 1
spiritual force that's not discernible.
HOST
That's why I'm saying, like everybody has a higher calling. Not everybody has a higher calling. I think that's the grand epiphany. Like some people Just don't have it.
And that's fine. Like, not. Not everyone has it.
CALLER 8
No, I agree with you. And I think that's why I like the emphasis in your writing about building a body of work. Because, like, regardless of what you're doing, regardless of what sort of cards you're dealt in life, you can always build a body of work. Like, if you want to become a woodworker tomorrow, you can fucking suck at it and build a body of work, getting better at it.
Like, there's never going to be a shortage of trade jobs. Like, you don't have to, like, be passionate about the thing that you are into. You can be passionate about, like, the surfing you do after. But, like, you do have to find something that, like, genuinely drives you from the heart if you want to be successful, I think.
But
HOST
exactly, I think that's the only way to live. Yeah, I appreciate that.
CALLER 8
Oh, no problem. Thanks for having the space. I always like these.
HOST
We got our boy Humanoid. Hey, what's up? I just thought of a term that
CALLER 7
I love that you might like too.
CALLER 1
It's called the self help treadmill, where
CALLER 7
essentially you just keep going and going
HOST
and going with no real goal. The only goal is to improve yourself. It's like in the esoteric health community, people be detoxing their entire lives.
CALLER 1
They say, I need a detox and detox and detox, but that ain't really based at all.
HOST
Right on, brother. Peace. Omar, give me a zinger, man. Give me a good question.
CALLER 7
Hey, Brute. I just wanted to let you know, you know I'm a big fan of all your writings and tweets. One of the questions that I had was, what does your name mean to you, Brute the Force on Twitter?
HOST
It's just a portmanteau of.
CALLER 1
Of brute force, which is essentially the idea that, I mean, most things in my life I've been able to overcome just through sheer force of will. And yeah, I mean, I just added the D because it's just. It's an interesting kind of spin on it to say brute of force instead of brute force. But yeah, man, I mean, most things.
Most things in my life have been solvable through sheer force of will.
CALLER 7
Awesome, man. I appreciate it. And what is Benjamin Franklin disrespector? What is that?
CALLER 1
I'm talking about talking about money.
CALLER 7
Okay, sweet.
CALLER 1
Yep.
HOST
Zero respect for money.
CALLER 1
Do you have any.
CALLER 7
Do you have any on, like, drinking as, like, a. A way for people to escape, like, you know, their reality and, like, you know, it's like, I've heard people Talk about, you know, it's like coming home from work and you know, someone just, you know, they grab the bottle and it's like this is drowning out everything that they went through for the day. And like, what is like, it's such a, like old human like behavior for drinking like for thousands of years. So I was just like, what is, what do you think drives humans to kind of basically poison themselves to quote unquote, you know, relieve of stress?
HOST
I can't answer that question for other people, but I can answer it for myself.
CALLER 1
I mean, I'm, I'm in a game, high stakes gambling where being whip smart and sharp at all times is, is extremely tantamount.
HOST
So I cannot afford to be in
CALLER 1
altered states of consciousness, especially when I'm launching large sums of money. So I, I am a control freak. That's why I do not, I don't
HOST
do any mind altering substances because I
CALLER 1
just want to be in control of my reality at all time. I have zero desire to escape from
HOST
the reality that I'm in. I also read a passage by Jung a long time ago that articulated this
CALLER 1
very well for me.
HOST
He said something to the effect of that men drink to become women and women drink to become men. And I find that's very true. Any man that I've seen who gets
CALLER 1
himself pissed drunk becomes emotional and vulnerable like a woman. And women who drink typically become very masculine.
HOST
And so I think that, I think it's a way of, of people essentially
CALLER 1
trying to, trying to get out of the, the rigmarole of their daily life
HOST
and they're basically crossing over and experimenting with a different reality, which I just, I have no interest in doing that. But I mean, again, dude, like, you wanna, you wanna talk about like subsets, like you got dudes on here who think that hard alcohol is superior to beer and they say beer is soy. It's actually not true at all. Even from a biological perspective.
Like if you want to look at like hard alcohol is just sheer poison. There's like absolutely, there's no power in hard alcohol whatsoever. It's, it just slows down your recovery. You gotta sleep more up your workouts.
But beer, fucking power lifters, strong men, Vikings, like motherfuckers. If you drink beer, I mean there's
CALLER 1
glucose in there, so that's going to fill your muscle bellies with glycogen post workout. So like, I know a lot of
HOST
strong beastie motherfuckers who will go lift
CALLER 1
hard and then fucking have a steak and a beer and that shit's Anabolic as fuck. But hard alcohol is catabolic.
HOST
That shit literally has zero fucking benefits whatsoever other than just absolutely fucking poisoning
CALLER 1
your bloodstream and slowing down your recovery. So I think hard alcohol is soy and I think beer is the superior instrument, especially if you're very physical. If you're a very physically active male and you're drinking beer, there's. That's an anabolic drug, especially when it's combined with us with a superior diet.
CALLER 7
Thank you for that information, bro. I appreciate it.
HOST
Yep.
CALLER 5
Right on, man. Yeah. So this is a good segue off what you said. You said you've, when you were reading young in the past, you had a different perspective on that than self help books.
When you're approaching reading philosophy like Nietzsche or Rumi or authors like that, how are you approaching that as far as a learning perspective if you're not looking necessarily for self help language?
HOST
I'm interested in reading those books for
CALLER 1
the vocabulary and the syntax and the way that these are articulating their thoughts. That's the value in it for me. The value in it is not for my ideas.
HOST
Because I have found that if you live, if you live a free, self
CALLER 1
directed life, you're going to come across all the great insights that all the great authors wrote about. Anyway, that's been my experience. Like I get a lot of dudes in my DMs who try to compare my work. They're like, dude, this is Nietzschean or this is fudgeing Spinoza or whatever.
I don't really know the underpinnings of a lot of those philosophies, but I
HOST
do find it interesting that people will
CALLER 1
draw parallels from my work to some things that other great men have said. And it's just from living.
HOST
It's like if you live long enough
CALLER 1
and you do enough things, you're just going to come across those insights naturally.
HOST
So I'm just more interested in the
CALLER 1
language and the structure and the way that these guys are articulating their thoughts.
CALLER 5
Interesting. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, the principles that underlie a lot of these things just happen to you if you're living. If you're at least approaching and attacking life.
HOST
Exactly. Because all, dude, all epiphanies come like
CALLER 1
a bolt from the blue. That's just the reality. Every grand epiphany, every grand proclamation that's ever hit my psyche has just come by accident. It's like writer's block.
You're sitting there and you're trying to force these incredible opinions and it never comes because those things are designed to be elusive. Most. Most of the goodness in life is designed to be elusive, and it's elusive in nature because life is a quest, and you have to. You have to go out and.
And show your chest in order to kind of glean these insights. I don't think sitting there and trying,
HOST
like, these guys, like, these, These intellectual
CALLER 1
dudes who've written these great works and had these great insights. The energy expenditure that they had to do to come up with that just from inside their head is incredible.
HOST
Like, that's why I'm more into guys
CALLER 1
like Ernst Younger who wrote like, Storm of Steel, like, who were actually in the. In the heat of battle or in the. In the heat of fire in the crossfire. And then they built a conjoined philosophy built upon that.
I like guys who have been in the trenches and experienced a lot of. And draw their philosophy from that. The actual, just, like, base thinkers who sat in a cabin with, like, roasted chestnuts and roaring fireplaces.
HOST
Those guys I don't really connect with. Yeah. Even though, like, Even though I can respect the fact that they generated some incredible.
CALLER 1
Some incredible thoughts, I would rather put my energy in the physical. I. I just.
HOST
I have a very strong belief that the physical plane is the most important
CALLER 1
plane for men to. To. To battle on.
HOST
Like, there has to be. It kind of goes back to my whole thing of, like, how can a
CALLER 1
guy claim enlightenment if he's broke and has no temporal power?
HOST
But it's like you.
CALLER 1
I. To me, that's not an enlightened individual.
HOST
I don't give a.
CALLER 1
How much internal you've explored.
HOST
If you don't have some proof that
CALLER 1
you've etched yourself in stone or carved
HOST
something with your physicality, I think that's a big mistake. And it's like, look, man, like, there's a reason why posthumously, like, in Death warriors, gangsters, and like, guys like big wave surfers get way more respect post death than a guy like Steve Jobs. Like, it was wild to me when Steve Jobs died. No one really gave a.
Like, it wasn't really the shock wave through the culture that you thought it would be. But then, like, you get a guy like Tupac Pock, or you get a big wave surfer who goes down under the toe, you know, like, living his fate and destiny. Those guys get a lot more reverence and they're more.
CALLER 1
They're more venerable when they die.
HOST
Because my whole point is, I think there has to be some grand conflict resolution with the physical world in order. In order to garn in order to
CALLER 1
really, truly garner that reverence and have that immortality in your work.
HOST
Like, yeah, Steve Jobs arguably, obviously had way more impact than these guys, but
CALLER 1
people are more interested in the Tupac story. They're more interested in the Mark Fu
HOST
story because these, these are guys who
CALLER 1
were going up against the forces of nature rather than just being a tech
HOST
dork in their apartment.
CALLER 5
Right. And I guess it does depend on like, what scale of time you're looking at it on, because somebody like Steve Jobs, maybe in a longer historical period may be written about more. The impact may be looked from that, from that viewpoint. But with somebody like Tupac or with a big wave surfer, as you made, what we're seeing is the active manifestation of losing somebody who's making us question nature.
HOST
Exactly. And they also went down.
CALLER 1
They went down doing what they.
HOST
They died doing what they.
CALLER 1
Doing what they actually love, which was like, there's some sort of majestic.
HOST
There's a, There's a very majestic quality to that. Like, like, truly one of my favorite stories is Mark Fu was that big
CALLER 1
wave surfer who got rocked at Mavericks, which was like, yeah, I want to say it was like an 80 foot
HOST
wave, but dude, I mean, like, honestly, that's, that's the definition in my opinion,
CALLER 1
of a beautiful death. I mean, the guy went down doing exactly what he loved to do. And I think there's some glory in that for sure.
HOST
I think.
CALLER 1
And I.
HOST
This leads me to a lot of
CALLER 1
different conclusions, but I think that most people are under the impression that death is not a gruesome process and that it's just everybody's gonna die with their gray hairs on pillow, like in a blanket, comfortably, and that's just not the case. Most death is very gruesome. Most death is extremely painful.
HOST
And I think preparing for death is
CALLER 1
a very large mistake in a lot of ways.
HOST
Like, I think there has to be
CALLER 1
some sort of fearlessness and confrontation with the possibility of death in whatever it is that you're doing.
CALLER 5
Well, the preparation of death may be outside of preparing for your fear, family and passing down money or means in order to be. Or wisdom in order for them to be able to live more fulfilled lives. Other than that, the preparation of death is contradictory to life because if you are fearing the thing that is going to end, creation of yourself or how you manifest yourself in the world, then you've already stocked yourself in your tracks.
CALLER 1
Correct?
HOST
In my opinion, it's this completely absurd thing.
CALLER 1
In the west, man, we, like, we. We have these, these very sanitized, strange, like, rooms where everyone gathers around. It's like, I don't. That's not the way most people are gonna go out.
And I, like. We have to get, like, people like, I, like.
HOST
I'm.
CALLER 1
I ride motorcycles, and people are always like, dude, aren't you scared of dying?
HOST
And I'm like, dude, like, me riding
CALLER 1
a motorcycle is the ultimate freedom, because
HOST
ultimately what I'm doing is I'm giving
CALLER 1
the middle finger to the possibility of death, but I'm also celebrating the fullness of life. And I feel like that's a very delicate balance that a lot of people don't really get to experience. And so I'm just about the celebration of life without the pretense of worrying about what the.
HOST
What the catastrophe could possibly be, because that's.
CALLER 1
That's honestly what a fulfilling, satisfying life is to me.
CALLER 9
Yeah.
CALLER 5
If you've ever. If you've ever been cliff jumping or gone with somebody, cliff jumping, the person can be deadly afraid, can have all these objections, and if they get up to the cliff and jump versus the person who gets up and walks away on the other side of that, there's a completely different feeling and a completely different energy that comes from either of those people. So I think it's a great example of that.
HOST
Yep. Yeah, I appreciate it, brother. For sure, man. Use.
What's up, man?
CALLER 3
What's going on? Currently glistening and sweat on the treadmill. But I wanted to ask you because I believe you touched on this on a previous space. There seems to be this, like, full rise of coaching.
That's the new thing now. And I believe you touched on it briefly in a previous space where you said, like, if you get a coach too early or at the wrong time, it could, like, mess up your.
CALLER 13
I don't know, edge.
CALLER 3
Could you kind of elaborate on that? Because I believe you touched on it.
HOST
Yeah, bro, is there any way you can actually speak up? I didn't hear the last part of that question.
CALLER 3
Yeah, sorry. I'm the treadmill right now. Can you hear me now?
HOST
That's a little better. Just ask the last part. I missed the last five seconds.
CALLER 3
Yeah, you just touched on, like, if you get a coach at the wrong time or too early, it's gonna kind of mess with your progression and developing your own attributes and proclivities. And I'm wondering if you could elaborate on that.
HOST
Yeah, it's like you go to a. You go to a, like, a soul cycle class. You have, like, all.
CALLER 1
You have, like, boxing classes.
HOST
You have all these, like. I want to say these classes that are geared towards the common person. And what they do is they bring
CALLER 1
you into these group settings and they homogenize you. They melt you down and make you, make you. Your technique like everybody else, as like sort of like a blueprint to build off that. And I don't believe that's a good way to build efficiency or skill whatsoever.
Because I understand in my own life that my quirks and deficits and character defects have actually gotten me a lot further than my talent, if that makes sense.
HOST
So, like, my particular. This is why I tweeted the other day.
CALLER 1
It kind of segues perfect into this.
HOST
I said, I said good habits will get you 80% of the way to
CALLER 1
success and then the last 20% to success.
HOST
The capstone relies on bad habits. Meaning there's a lot of habits that I have that if another person tried to copy that habit, they would absolutely
CALLER 1
get shattered against the wall.
HOST
Because it just works for me. It's a tick, it's a, it's a quagmire. It's just something that I've been able to incorporate that just makes me sort of unique. And everybody has those, everybody has those pitfalls and deficits and quirks that if they're integrated into the overarching talent and skill set you have, it takes you to the next level.
But you find, and this is a perfect answer to you, is that the self help industry is hell bent on helping you remove those bad habits that essentially are your edge. Those things sharpen your blade and make you stand out from the packed. And if you melt those things down and you make them a dull butter knife, guess what? You're just like every other.
So my particular quirks have been the most beneficent, like the most beneficent forces in my life because I'm able to do things other people can't do because
CALLER 1
I hold on to those things.
HOST
I have zero desire to get rid of the particular bad habits that I've
CALLER 1
been able to incorporate into the good
HOST
things that I do. It's kind of like, it's. It's juxtaposition. Dude.
Dude, life is all about juxtaposition. Everything is about contrast and paradox. You know what I mean? Like, I'm.
I'm a elite athlete, I'm in elite shape, but I can smoke cigarettes because I do everything else right in my life. So I don't feel the malaise.
CALLER 1
I don't.
HOST
Cigarettes don't bring me down. You could call that a bad habit, you could call it, call it a quirk, but it Works for me. So I think, I think people need to find the juxtaposition in their life, the elements and forces that should make no sense on paper, but if you combine those things, it creates a very combustible engine that you're able to do things that ordinary people cannot do. Because it's a holistic approach.
I am very anti constituent. I don't believe in modular processes where you're just sort of breaking things down on an individual level. I have a very holistic approach to life and that's why I believe you
CALLER 1
need the darkness and the light, you
HOST
need the innocence and the. You know what I mean? Like you need to combine all of
CALLER 1
those things in order to be a complete person.
HOST
And if you start neglecting or start trying to take scalpels and incise these things that you don't like about yourself, you're just on that self help treadmill
CALLER 1
that other guy talked about.
HOST
It's like, it's like men, for thousands of years, just whatever hand they were dealt, they just threw it on their shoulders and soldiered on. Like that's just what they did. In the pre modern world, there was no institutions, there were no safety nets to catch men when they fell. They had to work with their instincts and they had to work with their faults and they had to continue to, to move on.
And so I think like the biggest trapping of the modern society is there's so many institutions that are set up that will help you exit the game. If things just get too hard or you're in a rut or you're stuck, you can just say goodbye, I'm checking out of the game, I'm gonna go check into rehab, I'm gonna go check into a institution for three months, clear my head. Like there's just so many ways to exit the game. And so I think people utilize these things and it's, and it's funny because
CALLER 1
it's actually perpetuated the mental health crisis.
HOST
Because think about it this way, men, the, the actual reason men even have
CALLER 1
the time and wherewithal to do all this spiritual self help, reflective work. You got D hot yoga, doing these like deep internal dives on who they are and trying to go back in their past and rummage through and figure out why they are the way they are. The only reason why that possibility exists is because women are in the workforce,
HOST
women are holding down society. So now men can go exit the game and do this little self help, reflective work. Because women are stepping up, taking two
CALLER 1
jobs, women are in the workforce. So now Men can just depart and do all this.
HOST
But in a, in a, in a
CALLER 1
just society and a, in a real society, in the natural order, men didn't have time, you didn't have time to exit the workforce and do this.
HOST
You didn't have the luxury to journal
CALLER 1
a million times a day.
HOST
And that's why they were a lot
CALLER 1
more mentally healthy than us, because the pressure was there. And men respond very well to pressure. And when you take away the pressure of a man and you give him the out and you say, you know what, dude? Take five months off of work, you're having a mental health crisis, no problem,
HOST
go see a therapist, go thumb through all these books. What you find is that these men
CALLER 1
get more and more mentally ill because men are, men are afflicters.
HOST
Men are designed to afflict onto the world.
CALLER 1
We're thrusters. We thrust our life force into the world, not the other way around.
HOST
And a lot of these men are
CALLER 1
just bending over and basically just taking it up the ass. I mean, that's just, honestly what it is. It's a crude example, but it's just what's happening. So I just don't believe in, I don't believe for men in exit and exit strategies.
And I see the coaching thing as sort of a cheap way of getting around, sort of that autodidactic life force nature that men have of learning things on, on their own. You go into a class and now you're just going to learn the way that this person's doing it, just like everybody else.
HOST
So now where's the outlier? There isn't one because everyone's cardio, kickboxing, doing the same. But where's the style?
CALLER 1
Where's the flair?
HOST
Like style is very important. The style in which you do things
CALLER 1
is arguably more important than what you're actually saying and what you're actually doing. I fully believe that.
HOST
And I don't think that's superficial. I think style is actually a huge
CALLER 1
part of life and I think it's a huge part of being a man.
HOST
So it's like the way you go
CALLER 1
about doing things is the most important, is the most important way.
HOST
So then why would I outsource my
CALLER 1
style to a coach?
HOST
Doesn't make any sense. I would go to a coach when I've learned enough of something on my
CALLER 1
own, and then I would have them polish out and round those corners at the end of the game, not before the game has started.
CALLER 3
One more thing to add. Can you hear me, by the way?
CALLER 12
Yeah.
CALLER 3
I know that you mentioned the sort of autodidactic way of thinking. And I know you mentioned there's kind of like this return of the Renaissance man and return of like the return of the polymath. Do you feel like that sort of combination of being good at a lot of things and kind of the new self help of teaching yourself a lot of things and applying them in new ways instead of doing what everybody else is doing and kind of just specializing on one thing?
HOST
Yes, it goes back to the juxtaposition, like if you want to be a
CALLER 1
man, a noteworthy man in this society now, you definitely have, your body of work has to be commodious. Like there has to be a lot of things that you're drawing inspiration from. You know what I mean? Like, like, like I always use the example in my own life, like high stakes gambler, Olympic lifter.
HOST
There's a lot of things in my life that, that are juxtaposed.
CALLER 1
It really shouldn't make too much sense. But when I combine those elements I'm able to draw sort of this, this, this curriculum from whatever it is that I'm doing. And so I do ur to expose themselves to a lot of different things. I don't think specialization has a future here.
HOST
What's, what's your, what's your take on that?
CALLER 3
Actually I think specialization is dying because if you look at all the things that are popping up right now, for example, it's the intersection of a lot of trends. So for example, you'll see a guy that he has a finance background and a tech background and a real estate background and that's like the new thing. I don't think, think specialization is going to work anymore, especially if you're doing your own thing. It's much better to be 8 out of 10 at like 3 or 4 things instead of 10 out of 10 at one thing.
And I think that math actually checks out if you apply like the Pareto principle. Because to go from working competent all the way up to mastery takes so long. You can get working competence in like
CALLER 13
a few months, but max will take years.
CALLER 3
So I feel like if you get working competent in three or four functional areas, you can really start innovating things because innovation happens at that crossroads between multiple industries and that's where you get that sort of unique edge 100% because
HOST
it makes you broad. But I also think the Paro principle is accelerated.
CALLER 1
I don't think it's actually a true 8020 anymore.
HOST
I think the, I think time has, has, has accelerated so rapidly that I,
CALLER 1
I Almost believe it's like a 95.5% now. Like 5% of are going to have everything. And that 95 is going to get left in the dust. Yeah, that.
That is accelerating at a rapid rate.
CALLER 3
Good stuff, man. That's all for me. I appreciate you hosting space.
HOST
Yep. Reyes, what's poppin?
CALLER 1
All right, let's get on. Diogenes.
HOST
Diogenes, talk to us.
CALLER 10
Hey, brood, can you hear me?
HOST
What's up, brother?
CALLER 10
I wanted to ask you about rumination and when you're ruminating on something, like, for example, if you're gambling or trading and a loss is killing you and you keep thinking about it over and over and over, what. What is that? Like, what's the signal of that? What is the.
What is your mind trying to tell you? And how do you stop that process from happening, even though you know it's not helping you?
HOST
Yeah, so it's that what that is,
CALLER 1
is it's cleaving on to the past, right?
CALLER 10
Yes.
CALLER 1
You take a loss and you want to clutch and cleave on and wish that things were different than they were.
HOST
I think, I think the. I think the.
CALLER 1
The true masculine imperative, which we talk about a lot, is accepting things for where they are and understanding that there's. You always have to make the next right move, regardless of whatever the happening. So it's like no matter what kind of turmoil or chaos or what the. Has happened, there's still the next right move right in front of you.
And I think guys fail to really understand that regardless of the outcome, you do just have to continue to put baby steps in front of the other and do the next right thing, even if it's something simple as getting a hearty meal, taking a nap. Like the next right move is still there on the table. And I just. I don't have the capacity to give a.
About what happened five minutes ago. I think instrumental amnesia is a very, very. Is a skill that should be exalted in this culture because too many people are obsessed, wishing for circumstances that are just simply not true. And I have zero desire to wish for things to be other than what they actually are.
I. I like the. I like to confront reality as it currently is. That's basically my model.
So I. I just don't. I understand that when I've sustained a loss, that's not coming back. But I do also understand that if I make the next right move.
Next right move and string those sequences together, that things are going to pan out. That's just been my experience. So
HOST
thank you but also. Also man, thinking is extremely valuable.
CALLER 1
In retrospect, I don't think thinking is. Is very valuable. You know, like, thinking is valuable post hoc, for sure.
HOST
Like, there's. There's things that I'll ruminate and.
CALLER 1
And look back on years later that make sense to me now, but in. In the moment, they didn't make any sense. There's no clarity there. And I think.
HOST
I think things clarify themselves when you
CALLER 1
understand that you're constantly changing the interpretation of your past.
HOST
Like the. The present is constantly changing the meaning of the past. So the past is malleable. I don't think the.
I don't think the future is nearly
CALLER 1
as malleable as the past is because when you. And this.
HOST
This.
CALLER 1
This is like a whole ontology that I'm experimenting with. But, like, I have this. I have this gut feeling that something
HOST
like forgiveness, like a concept of forgiveness, I think forgiveness is bullshit. No one's been able to really articulate
CALLER 1
what the forgiveness really is or what it really even means. It's a very abstract way of dealing with reality. Like, I don't know anybody who.
HOST
Like, there's no way to get rid
CALLER 1
of the past either. That's kind of like the whole bailiwick of the whole situation is like the past is here to stay and it can be. It can be changed and it can be reinterpreted for sure.
HOST
But I don't really think that these sort of postmodern Christian concepts of like.
CALLER 1
Of like, forgiveness turn the other cheek.
HOST
I don't think those are real things like. Like people, I think, misconstrue for forgetting
CALLER 1
with forgiveness or just like, forgetting about what happened, and they think that they've forgiven the process. I don't really understand the mechanism of it, but it's a very fascinating thing to me because I just have a feeling it's all.
HOST
And I think that kind of plays
CALLER 1
into what you're talking about. You're talking about, like, trying to forgive the past.
HOST
I don't think that's a real thing. I think people have chips on their
CALLER 1
shoulders, and I think people absolutely are motivated and have impetus and moxie based on the things that have happened to them. I don't think those magically go away. And I think we can pretend all day that we've forgiven, and a lot of times we really haven't.
HOST
So I just think it's important to
CALLER 1
wrestle with these forces and just try to come to as much truth as possible.
HOST
That was a good question.
CALLER 10
Yeah, I. I appreciate your answer, and I think Also, it plays into thinking about what you said before about this subconscious conviction that the best is yet to come. So even when you lost, lost, you know, a nauseating amount, gambling like that. I found that very fascinating to learn about when you specifically said how much you've lost, because I don't think people might realize, you know, people see the.
The wins, they don't realize what the loss feels like. And most people can't handle that.
HOST
No, for sure.
CALLER 1
Most would have committed suicide with the amount of money that's burned through my hands throughout my life. But my identity is not strapped to money.
HOST
That's.
CALLER 1
My whole thing is like, my identity. I just enjoy playing the game and I like to win, for sure, but I understand loss is a part of that. But in no way, shape, or form am I hitched to. To money, to stats.
HOST
Like, none of those things really matter to me. I'm like, dude, it's interesting to me.
CALLER 1
Like, I look back at my life and I'm like, why the. Did I push my so hard in the gym to be as strong as possible? Like, why was that a. Why was that a.
I was just compelled to do it. Like, I had to show up to the gym every day and put in that kind of work.
HOST
And it's. It's.
CALLER 1
I came to the conclusion that it was because if I did get everything
HOST
stripped away from me, I could still
CALLER 1
wake up in the morning and still have my own vigor. Like, I would have my virility and my vigor and my ferociousness. And, like, those are the only things that I prize. Like, I just like knowing the fact that no matter what the happens to
HOST
me in my life, I'm waking up
CALLER 1
as a very strong, capable man every morning. So I just. I don't look at anything in my life that can destabilize me because I have that body of work. I have that dis.
I have that sort of structure that I've built over the years, and nobody can take that away from me.
HOST
You can take my possessions, you can
CALLER 1
burn my house down.
HOST
You can.
CALLER 1
You can bomb my M5.
HOST
I really don't give a.
CALLER 1
Because I'll just go get it back. But one thing you can never take away from me is myself.
HOST
Because I've put myself through enough crucibles
CALLER 1
and gauntlets, and I just have that unwavering confidence because I've been able to be triumphant over every circumstance that's ever come my way. I have a lot of past experience to call up, to call upon. You know what I mean? Like, I've I've just overcome things that I believe would absolutely bring an ordinary man down to their knees.
HOST
And I've done it so many times that it's almost addicting. Like, that's why I've. Dude, I've had tweets before where I'm like, I've been through hell so many times that at some point it's.
CALLER 1
I'm like a rottweiler and I gotta
HOST
put a leash on myself because I, I want to go back to hell sometimes so badly because there's so much
CALLER 1
insight and wisdom there that now as
HOST
I've gotten older and I've matured, I really gotta hold myself back from subjecting
CALLER 1
myself to unnecessary pain and unnecessary drama
HOST
because there's just so much to gain from it.
CALLER 10
So I think I speak for everyone here and we would want to know, was it always like that though? Or was there a period where like you lost a ton or you made some massive mistake and it wasn't like that and you did feel like killing yourself? Like, what, what was the shift if there was one?
HOST
No, dude, I've never.
CALLER 1
I have the opposite. Like I have mania. I don't really have the depressive side of life at all. I wake up with a, with a zealousness and a zeal towards life every morning, the morning it's very hard to calm down my energy.
HOST
And I don't know if that's just a gift from the gods or if that fire has been stoked from some ulterior force.
CALLER 1
I really don't. There's no like ready apprehension I have of what that force really is.
HOST
But I just wake up every day with this just unrelenting optimism that I
CALLER 1
can do whatever the I want to do.
HOST
But it's also because I'm self directed. It's also because I've been saying, thinking, articulating my thoughts in the way that
CALLER 1
I've wanted to for well over a decade now.
HOST
Nobody tells me what to do. I'm telling other what to do in my life. Like I work with people who are, who are, who are getting my delegation. And so it's like when you're, when you're a self directed, self contained individual and you're able to speak, act, behave in the ways that you truly want to.
The liberation and emancipation from that is absolutely what kind of builds the fabric of the philosophy that I'm talking about. Like, I, I wouldn't have the strength to come back from the losses that I've endured if I also concomitantly didn't have the strength to speak, behave, act,
CALLER 1
talk the way that I want to as well.
HOST
Does that make sense? Like I'm not wearing any masks. I say whatever the I want to say. No one can cancel me.
CALLER 1
I work for myself.
HOST
So I, I think like a huge weakness in people is that if you
CALLER 1
can't behave and think and act and
HOST
talk in the way that you want to, there's a very interesting limitation and
CALLER 1
also your ability to withstand pressure and, and kind of brave through the gauntlets of life.
HOST
Does that make sense?
CALLER 10
Yes.
HOST
Yeah. So it's like you have, that's your starting point if you want to be a self directed man. Like, like people don't understand. Like just, just living with like a hunter's predators mentality is a viable life path.
Like you can have purpose in being aimless is what I've always said. Like you can just wake up every morning like a vagabond, go around driving around town, going from venue to venue, coffee shops, whatever. But then you have to be able to capitalize on opportunities that just spring up by serendipity. Like there's a lot of fortuitous events
CALLER 1
that will take place just from going around, roving around town. Like that's my life story.
HOST
I run into the most bizarre characters, opportunities, deals that come my way just from roaming around town aimlessly. I don't know where the I'm going. I don't know, I don't, I don't plan my day. I'm just soaring through life and I'll capitalize on an opportunity if I see one.
So that goes back to the whole identity shift thing.
CALLER 1
I think a lot of guys are
HOST
afraid to live that way because they don't, they don't really believe that they
CALLER 1
can capitalize on events or they don't really know how to commoditize that or make a living out of it.
HOST
But like plenty of people have done that. Plenty of people are just living aimlessly with purpose.
CALLER 1
So. Thank you.
CALLER 10
Thank you.
CALLER 12
Hello. I think my speaker is working this time around.
HOST
Yeah, Reyes, what's up, man?
CALLER 12
All right, thanks a lot for your patience, man. I truly appreciate the. Your time and the talk. I was wondering if you could please elaborate on how carving your imperfections can destroy your masculine edge.
I know there's ladies in the chat, but I'm speaking for the dudes here. I'd like. How does your imperfections, how can it destroy your masculine edge? Why does it do damage to whatever intrinsic traits you may have, even if you don't know them?
HOST
You're Talking about
CALLER 1
sloughing off the imperfections that I was talking about earlier.
HOST
Like, being.
CALLER 1
Being hell bent on kind of removing like, character defects and stuff like that. Yeah. Like, you, like, you're.
CALLER 12
Like, you're, like you're intrinsically lazy or you're intrinsically lackadaisical about your everyday life. Like, how does that carve?
CALLER 8
How.
CALLER 12
How does, like, carving that off, like, destroy your edge? Your edge? Meaning what makes you.
HOST
You.
CALLER 12
What makes you stand out from. From the rest of the crowd? What makes look at you and be like, oh, no, this dude is different.
HOST
Because perfectionists don't win anything.
CALLER 1
Like, perfectionists just don't win. They never hit the send button. They're always editing. They're always trying to have the perfect craft, the most, the perfect image before they do anything.
And I've never seen a perfectionist win. I've never seen a perfectionist get glory. I've never seen. I've seen people who are shameless.
Shameless are winning the whole game right now. Look at the whole battleground of life, the winning products. You don't even need a good product anymore to win. That's what's so sad about the whole culture.
You don't need a good product. You just need impetus and moxie behind it. And you need to triple down. And you can push anything.
You can pedal anything in this culture. Which is why who actually have good products and are dispelling good information are slowly, slowly rising to a. To a height that nobody else can achieve. But, like, my point is, dude is dumb is winning all around us right now.
And the people who are releasing the dumb that's making tons of money and making them successful have a ton of character flaws. That's why the products are dumb. They're not even releasing anything of value and are gobbling it up because it shows you the power of just unleashing something and not being afraid to send it. That's just what it is, dude.
HOST
Like, there's motherfuckers on this platform that
CALLER 1
are shamelessly producing absolute garbage and nonsense, but they do it with such moxie and impetus that it's a very alluring. It's a very alluring product.
HOST
So it goes back to style.
CALLER 1
Like I'm talking about, style has a lot of rough edges to it. Flair has a lot of rough edges to it.
HOST
But those things can be overlooked.
CALLER 1
Like, you can break a lot of social contracts if you do things in style. You see this all the time.
HOST
Like, if you do things in a
CALLER 1
humorous manner, you can get away with saying a Lot of things that you couldn't ordinarily say if you wrap things up neatly in a joke, let's say. So things like that
CALLER 14
is.
CALLER 1
Is kind of more what I'm talking about, man, is like, it's all about the style in which you're doing things.
HOST
Does that make sense?
CALLER 12
Nah, brother, that makes perfect sense. I just, like, I'm just trying to come at the peace with myself.
HOST
Everybody wants every. Everybody wants the most intelligent, perfect, brilliant,
CALLER 1
magnificent magnum opus before they release anything.
HOST
And that's.
CALLER 1
That's just what's cucked everybody to the nth degree because they're just getting lapped and destroyed and demolished by who don't care about that.
HOST
It's just.
CALLER 1
You have to just pick something and just run with the wind, but you can't stop. That's the thing is like, look at
HOST
these guys like Tate, who have catapulted themselves.
CALLER 1
Like, Tate's a workhorse.
HOST
That dude just is just pumping content constantly, and a lot of it's really good. But he's just a workhorse. The guy's just unleashing monumental pieces of work prolifically. And there's a lot of guys who aren't willing to do that.
You got dudes tweeting once a week wondering why they have no money in their bank accounts because they're trying to articulate and flesh out the perfect thing before they release it. None of these successful care about that. They're just gonna shoot from the hip and they're gonna keep going and going and going and going until something breaks. That's how the game really works.
Dumb is winning. You know why? Because it's all in the style in which it's being done.
CALLER 12
Basically fanning the hammer on life itself.
HOST
Yep. And I don't have. I don't have a moral or ethical dilemma with that. I.
I'm a lie. Zay fair. I believe in a free market. I believe that we should be unleashing as much dumb into the atmosphere as possible.
Truly. Because if you are consuming and buying that content, I 100 put that on you. I'm not susceptible to it. I ain't buying dumb products because I'm inoculated against the.
I can see through a grifter in two seconds. I've seen it all. But, like, I'm just saying, like, I totally believe in a free market. So I believe that we should be unleashing as much demented, retarded shit as
CALLER 1
possible into the fucking atmosphere because it's.
HOST
It's going to accelerate the correction. It's gonna, it's gonna level things out
CALLER 1
eventually where everybody realizes they've just been
HOST
purchasing hot air and nothing really came of all this. And then there's going to be a
CALLER 1
massive market correction force where truth and authenticity is really going to be able to shine through.
HOST
But it's got to get a lot worse before it gets better. So let these run rampant. I don't give a about the grifters pushing all this.
CALLER 1
Let it happen.
HOST
It's all gonna level itself out. It always does. I'm gonna move on. Michael Mellow.
What's up bro? What's up, Brute? Thank you for having me.
CALLER 6
You know, you've mentioned a lot about the dark and the light and on, on the topic of self help, I believe this is the number one thing that's wrong with the West. If you look at cultures in the east where they have, you know, that yin yang philosophy, you take the good
HOST
with the bad, you just accept the way the world as it is and
CALLER 6
you compare it to the west where everybody is just trying to be, you know, this image that you mentioned, this perfection, this, this Magnus opus before they release. Release anything, I think that has, you know, decalibrated the threat and risk awareness of, of people, especially when it comes to the, the biggest threats that you have, which are your own internal, internal shortcomings and your own character flaws or not flaws, just the things that are holding you back. So my question is how do you, how would somebody who is, you know, caught up in this culture of, of, you know, posting these good mornings, good morning, life is beautiful platitudes or you know, acting like if positivity implies ignoring the things that you need to work on, how do you take somebody like that and you, you recalibrate their thinking so that they can embrace the parts of them that need work and also embrace, you know, every challenge and tribulation that they've gone through since, you know, these same challenges and tribulations are, you know, what turns you into, into what you are. How would you, you know, you know, put, put into effect or, or create that snowball effect where somebody goes from, from that everything has to be perfect, everything has to be rosy and beautiful into this duality where they embrace the things that are up, you know, for the future of their, their self development.
HOST
See, it's the least, I'm, I'm the least interested in helping that particular demographic
CALLER 1
because I do think those guys are a lost cause in many ways. And I, and I also have a suspicion that it's all about like those Guys that are pretending to be bubbly, happy, go lucky all day. I literally think that's a strategy. I think they're trying to get women that way by pretending like they're some spiritual fairy.
I think it's couched in, in, I think everything is couch in sexuality, obviously. But I'm just saying that I think that particular strategy is more about being seen as like a virtuous man. But, like, those guys are the first dudes to backstab you. Like, those guys are the first dudes who have zero loyalty.
Like, the most loyal I've ever met in my life. They dudes who will step up and do anything for you are the people who came from real up households and childhoods. That's just the reality of it. It's because they understand that loyalty was a survivor instinct, and so they've cultivated that.
Like those guys. Dude, I just, I, I, I have a very, very difficult time ascertaining how they came to the conclusion that ignoring the dark forces of life is valuable in any way, in any way, shape or form. When my experience has been the exact opposite. Nothing has been more compelling and inspiring than negativity.
Like, I, I don't, I don't mind subjecting myself to negativity at all because I view that as deadlifts for my mind. It's just going to make my mind stronger. Like, I don't understand the aversion to that whatsoever.
HOST
Gotcha.
CALLER 13
Gotcha.
CALLER 6
Thank you, man.
HOST
Yep. Justin.
CALLER 2
Yo, what's going on, brother?
CALLER 1
What's up, man?
CALLER 2
So I actually think I could add a little bit to Michael's question, because Brew, in contrast to you, at least relative to what you're saying, I've had a relatively charmed life. And I have no shame in admitting that, because just like your experience is what has made you who you are, my experiences, of course, made me who I am. That being said, I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment that you cannot deny or pretend as if the darker forces or the negative forces of both life and oneself don't exist. Additionally, I think the one who not only acknowledges but embraces and learns to channel those energies gains, gains massive power that the majority of people just will never even recognize or realize.
HOST
And massive power.
CALLER 2
Absolutely. Yeah.
HOST
Because it turns you.
CALLER 1
Because, dude, what it does is it turns you. You can't be bullshitted. When you've experimented with every force in
HOST
the universe, you, you can see things
CALLER 1
coming before they happen. That's like the whole, that's like the gift of being a man is at some Point, you've seen so much and you've been exposed to so much in life that you no longer are able to be bullshitted. People can't pull one over on you, right?
HOST
And that's a, that's a beautiful place to be because that's also happens to
CALLER 1
be the most attractive quality to women. Women above all else, man, they want
HOST
to know that they can't you. They want to know that they cannot
CALLER 1
pull one over on you or manipulate you. And if you are a man who
HOST
has a grasp of all those forces
CALLER 1
in the universe and that understanding, then it makes you an incredible communicator. Like, I break down things with women all the time. I explain to them why they're behaving the way they're behaving. And even if I'm wrong, it doesn't matter.
I have the balls to, to unleash my theory as to why they're behaving the way they are.
HOST
And like that thing is extremely powerful
CALLER 1
for men as well.
HOST
Like, you want to be the one
CALLER 1
in the family that everybody comes to for advice, wisdom. Like, who's the one they seek out when they're going through a jam? It's the guy who's battled the dark forces and the light. It's never just the happy, go, lucky, bubbly guy.
No one gives a about that guy's opinion. Everybody cares about the man who's been through everything and seen it all.
CALLER 2
Agreed fully. And I also think it subverts the, the way in which the experience is internalized. Everybody listening. If you've gone through something that's difficult, and I recognize that, that many people have gone through, through difficulties that, that I have not experienced myself, things like losing a loved one or getting, you know, terminally ill or, or things that are just terrible to happen to anyone and befall anybody.
But if you can find ways in which you can look at that experience and understand how it can teach you and, and what it has to add as far as value is concerned, and how it can make you a stronger, better, more refined individual. Like you said, brute like you have that proclivity tendency to want to go back to hell because you recognize inherently the wisdom and the lessons that can be found there, I think that will fundamentally change forever your relationship with any perceived negative experience. Because I also know that everyone listening to the space has gone through something that was difficult at a time and now in the present, they look back on that experience and probably relish in what it had to give them in gifts. I've always said that pain is not something that anyone enjoys experiencing.
Or rather maybe I can't say that because there is like, relishing battle. Right? But pain is one of the greatest teachers that exists, if not the greatest teacher that exists. So to kind of add, Michael, to your question, I think part of the root, or rather one of the biggest benefits that you can gain is subverting your relationship with that which you perceive as negative, as being something that is, you know, detrimental and, and, and like God spiting you, so to speak, versus how can this become a teacher?
And how can I, as the student, learn and implement what I'm being taught through this experience?
HOST
Definitely.
CALLER 1
I think a lot of guys also confuse suffering with growth, which is definitely not true. A lot of guys are suffering needlessly and they're masochistic and they're indulging in things that are intentionally harmful and destructive, and they think that they're actually getting benefit from that. And I think that's false. I think there has to be a natural suffering just sort of like on the path.
You're going to just confront things that just have to be dealt with. And I think that a lot of guys confuse suffering with growth, which I don't find to be true at all.
HOST
I think it's a cop out.
CALLER 1
I think a lot of guys, like, will intentionally burn their life down as a way of just copying out. And I think that's, that's like a very prevalent thing.
CALLER 6
I totally agree, dude. I, I served in the military and I met a lot of personality types like that. You know, guys that were just, you know, it's almost like they were eager to jump in on a grenade and come back draped in the flag.
HOST
I. I saw it a lot.
CALLER 1
Yep, right into the buzzsaw.
HOST
Thanks, brother. I appreciate the arena manifesto. What's going on?
CALLER 1
All right, Dan, we'll take you, bro.
HOST
Dan the Judge.
CALLER 13
I. I had an insight once, and I'll quote it, but regarding the darkness and suffering and pain and all that, and the value that hidden it in it. So all knowledge is darkness, or at least hidden in darkness. That's how it seemed to me.
All knowledge is darkness. And the way to access it is to shine light on that darkness. Now, the problem is with this woke and fake and aware culture, New age self help, all that is that you only focus on the light and you totally disregard darkness. It's like the sight of the light, but you forgot to shine that light on the darkness to get to finally know yourself and what we're talking about, what do you say about that?
CALLER 1
Your connection's hella fucked up, bro. I, you're like, you sound like you're in an echo chamber. I can't hear you.
HOST
I'm gonna just take another question for now, bro, but try to sort that out. I think you got to get off speakerphone, James. Hey, Brute.
CALLER 9
Thanks for having me, brother. I had a question in regards to raising a son. You know, I've done really well for myself. I, you know, had hard circumstances growing up and, and obviously, you know, that really benefited me later on in life.
But I guess my concern is that because I've done so well for myself, that my son won't have to go through similar things. So I was just wondering if you had any advice on, you know, how to take him through that journey of becoming a man. I appreciate your time.
HOST
Yeah, I mean, I, I, I sort
CALLER 1
of, I'm under the belief system that men should not be, like, domesticated in any kind of way. So I think that in the context of a family, I think that men do need to step out for a long period of time and continue to work on their, their mission. And I think men are more like role models. I, I don't.
It's a good question, man. I wrestle with it too.
HOST
I just feel that the only way
CALLER 1
you can lead is by example and that there's absolutely zero way to. Like, I don't. I believe we have children so they can have their own unique experience. I don't think we should clone our children and try to make them anything like us.
And so I, I like, my whole thing with my son is that I want him to just sort of be who, whoever the he wants to be. I want to expose him to a lot of different things.
HOST
So like, like, some guys just don't want to be
CALLER 1
sensations in life.
HOST
Like, and that's fine.
CALLER 1
And like, I, I've just kind of accepted that, like, I, in no way, shape or form am I trying to build a clone.
HOST
Does that make sense?
CALLER 9
Yeah, that, that makes perfect sense, I guess. I don't know if you feel this way, and I totally understand your perspective about people being themselves and having their own human experience, but maybe it's just a part of, I don't know, being a dad is you want your son to be wealthier than you, be more successful than you, or at least certainly I have that desire, but I understand your perspective as well.
HOST
Yeah, I mean, look, like, I, I
CALLER 1
definitely believe in giving them instruments and tools to be successful. Like, I don't believe even being stingy with our kids at all. I think that's just. But I also do believe that there has to be resolution of conflict and denouement, like on their own terms.
Like give you a good example, like when my son's playing on the playground and there's a conflict with another kid, like my, my ex will try to get involved and try to like split
HOST
up the fight and I've pulled her
CALLER 1
aside and I was like, look, listen, you got to stop doing that.
HOST
Like fighting and conflict resolves everything.
CALLER 1
Like, you got to let these kids work it out on their own. That's how they learn.
HOST
And I think that's a metaphor for life. I don't believe in that sort of
CALLER 1
intervention unless obviously someone's gonna die or get severely hurt, then I'll step in. But I like just witnessing the sort of natural strength and like seeing what he's made of, like seeing his personality shine through with these conflicts with other kids, especially at a young age. So I think stepping out is actually the more superior form of, of love because I'm allowing him to sort of. I'm allowing him to make his own way and push boundaries and figure out who the he is and allowing, giving him an opportunity to stand up for himself.
Because daddy and mommy ain't always going to be there in life, you know, and I want him to learn that early is that sometimes you got to duke out your own battles and figure it out. And if things get so severe, sure, I'll step in and, and you know, finish things out if I have to. But I think it's important as a father specifically to let the struggle kind of permeate through our children and allow them to sort of, like I said, like, stand up for themselves and like
HOST
all those things build confidence. And I know women kind of. Women kind of have the opposite thing.
CALLER 1
Like they want to break it up and they're so protective and that they just want to intervene. But what they're doing is they're stifling his potential. They're stifling his ability to learn how to deal with these things on his own. And I think that has long term negative consequences, particularly in boys.
HOST
I don't think I would let a
CALLER 1
daughter be embroiled in those kind of conflicts the same way that I would with it with a son.
CALLER 9
That makes sense. One other question, if you don't mind, like when you're a wealthy man, obviously, you know, the lifestyle that you live, you do whatever you want, would you give your son access to essentially your lifestyle or would you? I Don't know, not give him, act like, would you allow him to fly first class with you? Would you allow him to experience everything that you experience?
Or would you artificially kind of give him some sort of hardships in life during his childhood?
HOST
No, 100%. Like, if I'm doing something and he's
CALLER 1
rocking with me, for sure I'm just going to give him the best of the best. But I'm also going to leave a lot of wiggle room for him to sort of figure things out on his own, guaranteed. I mean, I'm certainly not going to just hand everything. I've never really seen anybody that was handed everything on a silver platter turn out well.
I always see them inevitably fall into some kind of like drug addiction or some kind of self loathing. There's some kind of like self harm that just kind of fosters from that philosophy that I've seen just too many times. So I don't think that's the way to go. But yeah, I mean, like I said, like, I think it's more about like teaching the principles of life and like business.
Like, my son certainly is never going to be in a public school. I don't want these teaching my son anything. But I do, I will. If I would teach him how to run a business, I'd teach him leadership.
I would teach him like a lot of other things that school could not do and then kind of let him fly on his own because I'm in charge of that. So I. What my point is as a father is I think it's important for us to build the curriculum, like, if you want to. Like, I don't think offloading and offsetting education to somebody else is the right move.
As a dad, like, I am the educator. I am the educator. Like I can teach him anything. So.
And I will invest the time to do that as he gets older. And that's a great responsibility that I'm willing to bear.
CALLER 9
Nice. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. I appreciate it, man.
HOST
Yep. Ex TS
CALLER 4
Hey, Brute. So earlier in space you said that not everything is possible. So I was wondering, how do you reconcile that with shooting for the biggest goals as possible? When it comes to business, for example, and having ambition, does it really just come down to, you know, self awareness or is it about making an earnest effort at kind of building the biggest thing you can and then leaving it when you feel like it's not working out?
Like for example, when you were building your venture with, you know, your team of quants and investors, like, how did you realize that it's going to transpire out the way that you envisioned it to. Because right now I'm trying to build a big moonshot venture in another industry and I'm working on it every day without any expectation of success. But sometimes there's a voice in the back of my head saying, this might be a long shot and it'll probably be easier to make money doing something simpler, like a simpler business. So I'm just wondering, where do you kind of draw the line on that and how do you determine that?
HOST
Yeah, I mean, I still believe that lofty goals are important because I don't. I think failure, I think failing on
CALLER 1
a goal is also very acceptable. Like, it's absolutely okay to want to be a world champion and fall short.
HOST
It's.
CALLER 1
It's more about who you become in the process of chasing those big goals.
HOST
That's like the, that's the silver lining is like, who are you going to
CALLER 1
become when you're testing yourself in these
HOST
gauntlets if you fail? So what if as long as you became a. As long as you became a different person off on that path? I see silver lining in that.
So it's all about just who you've
CALLER 1
become while you're tackling these things, man.
HOST
It's not really like achieving things is wonderful for sure. There has to be some element of winning. But I do believe ultimately that falling short can be a gift in many ways.
CALLER 4
Got it. So you err on the side of just setting the biggest goals as possible just for the fact that it's better for personal transformation versus kind of settling for something that might be more achievable. Is that pretty much it?
HOST
Yeah.
CALLER 1
And it's also an ethical form of spirituality. Like there's, there's spirituality in, in pursuing excellence in general. Like, I think that's what, I think that's what spirituality really is. And so I, I like, I feel
HOST
like those rituals and resonances that you
CALLER 1
get from chasing those things and, and kind of trying to max out and find your potential is a very valuable process because it's, it's self satisfying. There's, there's dignity that you can derive from that nobody can take away
HOST
from you because at least you were
CALLER 1
the guy in the arena who took the shot. At least you tried.
HOST
And I think that there's just a lot of value in crashing and burning is fine.
CALLER 1
It's just, it's fine if what you're doing is authentic and you're, and you're not doing it in a self destructive like intentional way of copying out.
CALLER 4
Yep. Makes sense.
CALLER 9
Thank you.
HOST
Yep.
CALLER 1
Take one more here,
CALLER 14
Brute.
CALLER 2
Do you mind if I add to
CALLER 9
that a little bit?
HOST
Yeah, go ahead, man.
CALLER 2
So, vx, let me ask you this question. If you felt like the current venture, or rather let's say that the current venture blew up in your face, completely exploded and just epic failure, barring the time, you know, to pick yourself back up and recover, do you think that you would completely quit and, and never pursue anything along that line or another line? Or do you think you would pick yourself back up, reiterate and attempt again?
CALLER 4
I think I probably would, just because I'm kind of on the younger side. I'm 27, and so I understand that these types of, you know, big ventures take time. But at the same time, you know, if this kind of blew up and I lost, you know, a couple years trying to build it, then I guess a part of me would think, you know, I could have spent that time, you know, pursuing a simpler business and probably would have had a higher chance of making it a success. But I think again, there is value in kind of going for a bigger goal because at least you have that experience and that background now to kind of piggyback on and, you know, do something again, that's big, but that's just kind of how I would think about it, definitely.
HOST
I think that's. I think that's good. Let me, let me interrupt. I think.
Yeah, please. So. So I think there's a mythical.
CALLER 1
I think there's a mythical force here too that sort of feels kind of pataphysical and that's that I don't believe you can interfere with a man's destiny. I do believe fate and destiny are absolutely interwoven into the game. Like there's definitely a. There's definitely forces that are very destiny based.
And I feel like no matter what path you take as a man, you're always going to sort of reside at where your destiny wants to bring you. Not in a fucking lackadaisical, like passive kind of way. But if you're pushing the envelope, you're going to rise to where you're supposed to rise. And nothing that you deserve is ever going to flee from you if you were meant to have it.
That's. I truly believe in that spiritual principle. So it's like you should be attacking these businesses and shit because your destiny will intervene on your back half 1,000%. And you know the saying, winners, winners always win, losers always lose.
That, that, that axiom is actually talking about fate. And, and Jung said this. Jung said, fate is doing willingly that which you must do. Fate is doing willingly that which you must do.
So there's certain things that you just have to do. You know, you just have to go attack that juicy goal. And it doesn't really matter what happens because all. All roads lead to Rome for men.
You will end up exactly where you belong. And there's peace in that. Because even if you fail, and even if you falter, you have to understand that you are realizing your destiny.
HOST
You are absolutely a participant in your
CALLER 1
destiny because there's a combination of free will and destiny. But like, there's a. There's. There is a spiritual force there that you have to be willing to abide by.
And that's where I get a lot of my pieces and confidence from, is knowing that there is some genetic script that's being played out here. Like, I do believe that. I believe there are codes written in our bones and our DNA that are uninviable and are pushing us and compelling us towards certain tendencies and proclivities that cannot be stopped by any force in the universe. There's no government, there's no corporation, there's no bureaucrat, there's no big cat.
There's no bungling idiot who can intervene with those forces. So it's like. It's kind of like, in a way, you can't fail anything that you're really doing from that perspective. Like, there's no way to really fail because you're going to end up where you belong.
HOST
Does that make sense?
CALLER 4
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I do feel like this is something that is kind of. Yeah, look, I have to do it or else it. I mean, nothing would.
Nothing else would really make sense for me.
HOST
So, yeah, you have to see it through.
CALLER 1
And you don't know why, and you don't. You don't need to know why. And I think that's like a huge thing too, is like, everybody talks about. You have to figure out the why.
You have to know why. I don't believe that's true at all. Some things are just ineffable. They're indescribable.
They are so beyond human comprehension as to why you have to see this through. And I think that's the unique part of the human experience that nobody can interfere with. That's why self help, to a degree is garbage. Because there's a lot of things that you want to do that no one could even.
It's incomprehensible. No one could understand why you have to embark on this quest, but you just have to. There's something hiding behind there. There's some fucking.
There's a war chest. There's some treasure that has to be disinterred for you to sort of understand and make way for the next thing.
HOST
So it's like you really can't from that perspective, like, there's really no way
CALLER 1
to fuck things up because you're just going to sort of rest at the trough of where you're supposed to be going anyway.
HOST
I think that's a. I think that's
CALLER 1
an empowering perspective as well.
CALLER 2
And that's exactly what I was alluding to with the question of, like you said, it's like if you have a vision or an. I don't want to say necessarily an ultimate goal, because these things change and they can be nuanced relative to, you know, ventures and endeavors. But a vehicle will get you there. Even if it isn't the one that you are currently undertaking, it very well
CALLER 1
may be the one that.
CALLER 2
That you are currently undertaking.
CALLER 1
The.
CALLER 2
The venture that you're in could be the thing that. That allows you to facilitate that greater goal of that greater vision. But if it isn't this, it will very likely be something else as long as you continue to act towards it and feel compelled towards it, which, like you said, brute. I don't even necessarily think.
For many people, myself included, it's not even really a choice. It's more of like a magnetic pulling towards swords.
HOST
I very much subscribe to that philosophy. Absolutely. I mean, destiny is a huge part of life. Destiny.
CALLER 1
I mean, many men have been anointed by forces they could never even comprehend as to why they were compelled to do things. And I think that we need to just kind of. We need to kind of just accept that's true instead of fighting against the grain all the time.
HOST
I always.
CALLER 1
That's why I said in past experiences that vices to a degree, like the things that you are compelled to do that you know are not good for you ultimately leave. Lead you to divinity. Because when you're experimenting with destructive things, things that are vices, things that have a grip on you, there's a lot of insight to be gleaned from that. Why are you compelled to continue to do these things?
And it's. It's like something that you feel like you can't help. Like it's almost something you feel that you cannot stop. But that energy can be harnessed and transmuted into something that you.
That you want to actually do.
HOST
So it's just all about, like, it's,
CALLER 1
it's, it's interesting, man.
HOST
Like, vices will eventually bring you to
CALLER 1
your knees if you indulge in them long enough. And then when you're at your knees, you have that clarity and that purpose.
HOST
Most people are unwilling to use that
CALLER 1
experience to alter the path and alter the course and go and head in a different direction. We'll take one more.
CALLER 7
Hey, Brew, quick question. What do you think? Do you think you've gotten the sense of purpose that you've drawn from, like, you know, your own culture or community that you grew up in? I'm not really sure where you're based out of, but just like, do you think that, you know, the family that we come from and everything, like, how in.
It's kind of what you were mentioning about, like, there's certain things, like, genetically that, you know, we, there's nothing that we can do to change. And I was just wondering what you think personally for yourself, like your community and your culture has affected, like, what you, like, the sense of purpose that you've drawn in life?
HOST
Yeah, of course.
CALLER 1
I mean, there's, there's an accumulated, there's definitely an accumulated ancestral trajectory, for sure, that I think is imbued and endowed in every individual that's born. I mean, obviously the accumulation of the work of your ancestors has a very large impact. Blood is, I believe blood is king. I believe blood is driving and, and taking people into situations that they have no clue why they're in.
And that's where I'm, that's what I'm kind of saying here is that's, there's, that's where the spiritual, metaphysical, pataphysical forces are coming from. So, yeah, I mean, I don't particularly understand them in myself, but I know that I am drawn towards fanaticism.
HOST
You know, there's, there's a, there's a
CALLER 1
fanaticism in, you know, how physicians became physicians. What they used to do is before we had technology and science to understand the way the body worked, old school physicians, you're talking like the late 1800s,
HOST
they would go on the Civil War battlefield and they would dig up the
CALLER 1
dead corpses to examine the old organs and like, and make incisions in them and figure out like, how the body was working, like these, these physicians would literally run onto the battlefield to experiment with, with corpses. Like, that's how the whole medical industry was founded upon that level of fanaticism. Like, people don't have that level of curiosity anymore.
HOST
Like, you can use that as a
CALLER 1
metaphor, you know what I mean? Like, that level of curiosity and more. You could call it more morbid curiosity, which kind of laid the pathway to the whole modern sciences. And what we know about the human body started from that grassroots sort of punk ethic of just having minimalistic technology.
We didn't have microscopes. We didn't understand Jack, but these were literally digging up dead bodies to understand how life works. And I think that's what men are called to do. We're called to go into situations where
HOST
people have never seen this before.
CALLER 1
People have never examined this a certain way. People have never attacked this or approached this with this level of fanaticism and curiosity. And so I think that's where you really start to separate yourself from other people, is when you're willing to subject yourself to the grotesqueries of life and.
HOST
And go into things that ordinary people don't want to see. People don't want to see the truth. People don't want to dig deeper into things. They want to be medicated, and they want you to tell them how things are.
But if you are a fanatic and you are a. A conquistador, and you're willing to experiment things with the level of the fanaticism that those physicians did, you're gonna be donned with the greatest wisdom on planet Earth. And then you can incorporate that into your philosophy.
CALLER 1
And now you start building your own
HOST
body of work because it was your own curiosity that stemmed that stem from that. That was a good question. We're gonna. We got one more.
I'm gonna get. What's his name?
CALLER 1
I think he just actually dumped off. Let's get Alex on here. Alex. What up,
HOST
Alex?
CALLER 14
Hello? Can you hear me?
HOST
Yep.
CALLER 14
Hey, how you doing, bro? So a while ago, I listened to your podcast with Brute. I mean, sorry, with Sobra, and you spoke about this figure that was sort of like your mentor. And I was wondering how you went about finding that relationship and how you built it, and do you believe that it's something that finds you or that you're supposed to look for?
I just feel like a lot of people either have the success, or they don't have the boss and vigor to match that. Or if they do have the boss of vigor, they just don't have the success. And I feel like if I were to see someone that had those attributes, I would pursue that relationship. But I'm just trying to see what you think about that, because you spoke a lot about how that relationship with that person really built who you became.
HOST
Yeah. So this is a perfect tie.
CALLER 1
And this is all what I'm talking about style, aura, swagger. Like, there's a certain. See, when I met that individual, I was in a survivor mode. I was basically homeless.
I had nowhere to go, and I was really clutching on to try to figure out where the I was going in my life. And when you're in that survivor state, you do come across very seedy characters. There's, like, characters that will enter your life who you wouldn't ordinarily pursue if things were Gucci. So, yeah, my aura certainly attracted that figure into my life at that time, and it was what I needed.
HOST
That was rough. Hewn, too, carved from stone. Had a very rough upbringing, and we
CALLER 1
were just sharing our experiences and chopping
HOST
it up, and it just took itself from there.
CALLER 1
But, yeah, I mean, it's aura and
HOST
swagger, dude, is everything. It's like, that's why. That's why I always say, like, these who are stuck in their apartments and in the. Like, they don't have these kind of
CALLER 1
relationships because they're not out in the world. I'm out in the world every day. I'm tweeting when I'm in restaurants, I'm like, I'm out and about meeting people constantly. I'm extremely gregarious, dude.
And it's like, there's. It's never been easier to out as a man right now.
HOST
Like, there's so many ways to out. I don't even think women get approached
CALLER 1
in public as much as they used to anymore.
HOST
I think, like, guys are afraid to
CALLER 1
even talk to women anymore.
HOST
They can because they can just go on Tinder. So it's like, it's just never been
CALLER 1
easier to find ways to pussy out of doing anything. And so there is. There truly is zero competition.
CALLER 9
Politician.
HOST
Because, like, you'll see these women walking
CALLER 1
around, and they have, like, they're.
HOST
They have, like, an angry expression on their face. But what guys don't understand is that
CALLER 1
they're waiting for someone to crack that nut. They're waiting for someone to swing the sledgehammer at that game and, like, break that mask.
HOST
So, like, the woman who's walking around
CALLER 1
with, like, an angry expression on her
HOST
face, she's just waiting for a strong.
CALLER 1
That's not. That's not intimidated by that, to come
HOST
talk to her, and then all of a sudden, she's sweeter than pie. So it's like, guys are just intimidated
CALLER 1
and scared of the real world, man. And, like, you can translate that to men, too. Guys are walking around cold shouldering and snubbing guys who are doing better than them because they think they're too cool for school.
HOST
But you have to be willing to
CALLER 1
talk to people and be gregarious and get out in the real world, man. That's where all the magic is. Nothing I've learned came from online or books. It's all from just swinging shots in the real world and.
And moving like. I'm a nomad, man. I'm just constantly traveling and moving around and meeting people. Guys have to do that.
HOST
It's never been easier to win and be successful doing that.
CALLER 14
I appreciate that.
CALLER 1
Anyway, thank you, man.
HOST
I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna shut the space down, man. This was a good one.
CALLER 14
Thank you. Have a good one, guys.